Sep
24
What do you think of this story opening?
by T | Posted in Books & Authors
(I am currently working on an article of any kind, and I was wondering what people may think of my staged opening / extracting ... Be warned, it's a bit rough and I can see it needs to of work.
Initiation sentence is too long with too many commas - it needs to be sharp and robust.
You need to find suitable synonyms - too much repetition! e.g 'cutting' and 'thrum.
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